Image from Hysterical Bertha via Flickr

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The "I'm going to pretend I don't see you" Crosswalk Invader

Often seen in: The middle of a crosswalk during a red light

Pedestrians shouldn't be able to walk the streets...right? I have a particularly strong dislike for the "I'm going to pretend I don't see you" crosswalk invader (who may or may not also be a gas-guzzling gossiper or a no signal lane switcher) because of my newly adopted status as a pedestrian. These individuals reveal where the lowly walker stands on the transportation hierarchy. A good way to counter this sort of behavior is to get your friends together and ride a segway to work.There is strength in numbers. A convoy of segways is most certainly intimidating for the "I'm going to pretend I don't see you" crosswalk invader. To his credit, he's likely a city dweller, and his disrespect for pedestrians often inspires them to fight back with a green vengeance. However, the crosswalk invader insists upon quick acceleration when turning onto major roads and highways.

2.5 stars for green 

Image from gwen via Flickr

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Uber-political bumper sticker wielder

Often seen in: Volkswagen (Bug or Jetta, depending on the driver's generation)

Crunchy, granola, hippie. These words often accurately describe the uber-political bumper sticker wielder. The back of his or her car is a veritable cornucopia of humorous political quips. This is the triple crown of stuff while people like, as it provides the opportunity to combine raising awareness (#18) , bumper stickers (#100) and driving a Toyota Prius (#60). But a wealth of witty bumper stickers is a double-edged sword. It may be dangerous to drive behind one of these folks; impressively clever stickers can be highly districting.  While it is good to inspire others to think, it might be better for drivers not to think about anything but the road when they are behind the wheel. Bumper stickers also a have a potential for 'backlash.' Many people get turned off by such in-your-face belief-touting and establishment-questioning. It's likely that the uber-political bumper sticker wielder has also participated in some out-of-the-car activism.

3 stars for green

Image from Solo, with others via Flickr

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The excessive athlete/outdoor gear mule

Often seen in: Honda Element or Subaru Impreza

This population carries Thule’s business and is never seen without skis, bicyles, or a kayak on the roof. Enjoying the outdoors is great, but the extra weight and aerodynamic drag of the equipment significantly reduces the fuel efficiency of the vehicle in question. Here's the deal: generally, people who often enjoy the outdoors tend to have an appreciation for the environment, and are thus motivated to protect our planet. The catch-22 is that these individuals have to burn more gas to get to their various earthy destinations. I'll give the excessive outdoor athletes the benefit of the doubt because they probably donate to the Sierra Club.

3 stars for green

Image from thebig429 via Flickr

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The Sunday Driver

Often seen in: Coolidge Corner on a Wednesday afternoon

It's easy to spot a Sunday driver. He's the older gentleman peering over the steering wheel making those simply obeying the speed limit seem like speed demons. The Sunday driver obeys the speed limit and then some (usually 10 mph less than required). The Sunday driver is not in hurry to get anywhere and views any trip in the car as a sightseeing opportunity. Days of the week mean nothing to the Sunday driver. It could be Wednesday, and the Sunday driver is operating his vehicle as if he and everyone else had nothing to do. It's a good thing that the Sunday driver is generally oblivious, because he angers many people who end up verbally retaliating. The Sunday Driver, however irritating, does get other drivers to slow down and use less gas. If other drivers stopped getting frustrated and accepted their relaxed pace behind a Sunday driver, they might be able to enjoy the sights just like their arch-nemesis.

4 stars for green

Image from efusco via Flickr

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Hypermiler (sometimes confused with the “Sunday Driver”)

Often seen in: '95 Geo Metro

When hypermilers take the vehicular helm, they put an astounding amount of effort into getting the best possible fuel mileage out of their automobile. The hypermiler rarely cruises at speeds above 50 miles per hour and coasts whenever possible (whether it be while in neutral or with the engine off). This may result in doubling his gas mileage. Whether motivated by environmental concerns, penny pinching, or the sheer pleasure of geeking out, these engineers of efficiency love nifty gadgets like real-time fuel gauges, ripping extra components out of their car (passenger seat? who needs a passenger seat?), and getting their money’s worth at the fuel pump.

5 stars for green