It’s rainy. It’s cloudy. It’s nasty…not exactly dumpster diving weather. Luckily, I’ve been keeping tabs on the trashiest news , so instead of sifting through soggy newspapers and pizza boxes, I’ll be sifting through RSS feeds and press releases.

Local municipalities argue over waste rights and responsibilities; someone is hit by a garbage truck; one man’s trash becomes another man’s treasure; dumpsters harbor all stages of the circle of life; the price of hauling trash rises; and things burn for both good and evil. These are commonplace occurrences in garbage news, so I’ll be focusing on bizarre and innovative stories.

Here are my ten favorite smelliest, moldiest, dirtiest, most-valuable-when-reclaimed pieces of news from the landfill. For anyone who thinks we don’t live in a society obsessed with waste, grab a discarded chair, crack open a can of trash, hold your nose and dive in to the…

TOP 10 UNEXPECTED USES OF TRASH (AS TOLD THROUGH THE NEWS…)

10. “Choose Your Own Adventure” Plot

Residents of Scarborough, Canada choose the size of their trash bins

Short, tall, grande, and venti aren’t just for coffee anymore. Residents in Scarborough, a suburb of Toronto must choose the size of their trash cans. They get a $10 rebate for the smallest can, which allows them to have a small bag of trash picked up once every two weeks, and must pay a $190 fee for the largest can. Over 40% of residents opted for the tiniest can, but will it turn into trash transcendence or trash anarchy? Time will tell whether they’ll actually reduce their household trash, or just dump it in “the ravine”—or their neighbor’s bin.

9. Liquor Store

Is there a “Forty Fairy”, and does she visit dumpsters while we sleep?

Have you ever found a fresh, unopened forty in a trash can? Andy Wright at SF Weekly has.

8. Reverse Vacation

If you are an Oregon or Washington resident hoping to take a vacation to Hawaii, hold off on buying plane tickets. The Pacific island is coming to you. (Or at least, its trash is…)

Running out of room for waste on the island, Hawaii is negotiating to ship tropical garbage up the Columbia River to landfills in Eastern Oregon and Washington. Inter-state trash trade is hardly new—47 states export trash; 45 import)—but this raises the issue of invasive species contamination. How will garbage get through customs? “The trash would be bundled in airtight plastic, sealing in any tropical species that might hitch hike along.”

7. Building Blocks

A Dutch waste management specialist suggesting building trash/cement pyramids

Oh those crazy Dutch. The claim is that mixing trash—particularly toxic waste—with cement would seal in any harmful chemicals. The blocks could then be used to make giant trashed pyramids that serve not only as landfills, but also as tourist attractions! Who in their right mind would make a trip to see those? Oh wait…probably me.

6. Trampoline

2-year-old + 2 story fall + 2 meters of trash = a safe landing

That’s right. Trash saves lives. A toddler fell from two stories up in a Harlem building and safely landed on trash.

5. Mid-morning Snack

“Nude Man Found Eating Garbage in Caruthersville”

This one sorta speaks for itself.

4. Island/Coral Reef

“Garbage island” rising from sea near Singapore

Singapore has been been dumping ash from their trash incinerators into the ocean since 1999. As the underwater ash-mountains grow, corals and sea life moved in. This sounds romantic, but the small island nation faces big problems when it comes to waste management. You can find trash islands closer to home in the Boston Harbor.

3. Bacteria Food/Blue Ribbon Winner

A Canadian high school student isolates bacteria that eat plastic bags

Inspired (or…disgusted?) by tales of the North Pacific Gyre, teenager Daniel Burd found bacteria that snack on plastic bags, effectively biodegrading them. He found two strains of bacteria that, when working together, caused a 32 percent weight loss in plastic. His project earned him a win at a Canada-wide science fair.

2. Ammunition

Striking garbage workers in Greece pelt riot police with chunks of trash

Striking workers in Greece waged war in protest of labor practices among piles of uncollected garbage. Sometimes rotten tomatoes just aren’t enough…you need festering piles of garbage to get your point across.

1. Sea worthy vessel

A raft of plastic bottles is sailing the high seas to let people know about our "plastic soup" oceans

Ahoy! Trash ho! On June 1, Joel Paschal and Marcus Erikson set sail for Hawaii on a ship built out of 15,000 plastic bottles and an old Cessna. Their goal is to save our oceans from turning into “plastic soup”. You can read updates from their voyage on the JUNK blog and find out about what else the Algalita Marine Research Foundation is doing to halt the plasticization of our oceans.

I’m so moved, you just might spot me sailing my own garbage raft up the Charles River! If you have any other trashy news, or great wastelicious uses for trash, let me know. Until next week…heaps of rubbish to ya’!

Also in Trash Day

• Deer Island: Life After the Flush
• The End of the Age of Trash
• Getting to Know You(r Trash)